My name is not Titus

Knowing that there are so many Christian women who love the Lord, and want to live a life pleasing to Him, I’m probably stepping on a toe or two right now.  Perhaps my strong feelings are because I feel that this passage in Titus 2:1-5 (a letter from Paul to a pastor, Titus, in Crete) is some sort of rigid definition of who I should be in total as a woman professing Jesus Christ as God, I’m trying to convey that there’s so much more to His creative and expressive work in me.  “Titus 2 Woman” just doesn’t feel like a badge I want to wear.  There’s something that just doesn’t feel like it describes me accurately.  It’s the same thing for the Proverbs 31 woman, because I don’t think she exists (at least as a full time human being).  I tend to even see that passage as descriptive of the beautiful Bride of Christ, a fulfilling of the Church when she is caring for her own and reaching out to the world.  But Proverbs 31 is a study for another blog post. 

God has created me with strong convictions and abilities to cut through to the chase on issues, especially ones that pertain to Scripture.  I’m grieved at the abuse of Scripture to fit agendas.  People who know me know that I’m a fighter.  I don’t back down when I know that I’m right, even if it costs me friends.  [Just to clarify:  stubbornness is NOT a Christlike character trait and that’s not what I mean or want to have in my life.  My convictions in the study of Scripture, His Holy Spirit’s work through my life’s experience are what direct me.  I pray DAILY for the Lord to teach me to have grace, patience and love toward others, some who I disagree with strongly.]  I love sweet friendships, but if those friendships are only based on how I fit into a prescribed paradigm, then I just become a project and not a valuable friend. 

Some things in life just can’t be changed.  I’ll never be tall enough to be taken seriously.  I’ll never bear another child.  When my children are grown, I won’t be able to use them as my identity, as it was so much easier to do when they were young and my life revolved around their care and my love and protection for them.  Who will people say that I am then? 

My life doesn’t have a distinguishing mark of anything, really.  I haven’t written a best-selling book, or an award-winning website for homeschooling moms, or invented an innovative way to fuel vehicles (wouldn’t THAT be nice!?  My husband’s working on that one, though).  No, I do keep the laundry moving and at the same time can put together a shared meal and dive right into a deep theological discussion and Bible study with people, either in our home or online. 

As far as creative homemaking:  I freeze up when it comes to decorating my home.  It takes so much money to make it look just right, and I don’t want to have to start over, so I just don’t do anything.  My husband keeps urging me to pick out a paint color to paint our spackled walls, but I just don’t have the desire anymore.  So, there are big patches on our walls begging to be painted, but I can’t decide which color, because I can’t stand our dis-functional living room furniture (that is SO uncomfortable) and want to replace it all, but that takes too much money.  (I know it seems I’m rambling, but I’m just trying to let you understand how I think).  Maybe it’s a sign of perfectionism, which I hate, because I know that only Jesus Christ is perfect.  But I don’t have the money to throw around, so I don’t make a decision to spend it on something until I KNOW it’s the right thing; get it?

Some of my less controversial parts of me are that I love music, especially if it transports me by the lyrics and intricate melodies into the throne room of God.  I can make a great meal out of very simple, non-expensive foods.  My family loves my enchiladas, and my baked chicken and rice. I LOVE GOOD HUMOR, and refuse to live without it. I can tackle just about any project, once I get started.  I can lift 25+ pound boxes in a warehouse each week and have not injured myself yet (praise the Lord).  I enter sweepstakes, and occasionally I win.  For my teens’ education at home, they’re supplied with homeschool materials, but I’m terribly unorganized and don’t know where to begin this year with school, mostly because I’m completely burnt out with homeschooling.  It has totally lost its appeal to me as of late, because of the heavy VF/fv trend these days that overpower the local groups of homeschoolers.  However, there are only a few more years to go and we’ll be done, so, why throw in the towel now?

My marriage is good (grace, grace, God’s grace).  Seriously, though; my husband is a gem, and I can’t believe how much he puts up with.  His work …  I would challenge ANYONE to even TRY to walk in his shoes.  They could not do it.  His position and career philosophy is a rare thing.  He manages another man’s millions of dollars, deals with all of the trials and tribulations of other people, is rejected by his own christian peers because of his vocation and still has to come home to me.  God, Bless this man.  He is one of a kind.  But I digress; I was trying to convey my relationship to God in comparison to what christian leaders would try to teach is the ‘biblical’ way to be a woman.

My identity is Christ.  I’m not necessarily primarily a “Titus 2 Woman”.  If anything, I want to be known as a “Luke 10:38-42 Woman“, who, like Mary, sits at Jesus’ feet and hears His word and chooses “that good part, which shall not be taken away” from me.



11 Responses to “My name is not Titus”

  1. Mrs. C Says:

    I agree. And how many people would admit to being the “woman at the well” woman? Just sayin’. Our identities do have to belong to Christ. He can take everything away,and then what are we left with? It’s our flesh that gets in the way sometimes.

  2. choseninhim Says:

    Oh, I’m right there at the well! I could call myself, “The Mess that Jesus Continually Cleans Up”. No question, that when He died on the cross for my sins, it was done and over with. The power and victory is that He rose again and Lives today and reigns as King. Someday I’ll see Him, Face to face.

    I’ll probably correct a statement in the post clarifying about losing friends. I don’t want to be a hard-hearted, stubborn person who gets her way. That’s not what I meant to convey.

  3. choseninhim Says:

    If you’re wondering if the part about my husband’s career is some shady agent for some mafia thug or something; he’s not. He’s a restaurant manager supervisor for McDonalds. Yeah, some Christians would judge him for that.

  4. Mrs. C Says:

    OK, would they judge him because McDonald’s just came out promoting the gay agenda? Or because he doesn’t have a 250-acre yak farm and make you sell eggs by the roadside?

    I mean, I’m not going to McD’s anytime soon, but I also don’t have to make a decision between working there or accepting welfare, either. Sometimes we just have to let everybody else work out their own salvation so we can get busy with our own and also with praying for folks who are OBVIOUSLY NOT GETTING IT YET. So many lost people out there, and here we fight about skirt length and fave Bible teachers LOL!


    PS. I love your blog and would encourage you to do photos as well, separate or in this blog. Bless ya bless ya!

  5. choseninhim Says:

    Or because he doesn’t have a 250-acre yak farm and make you sell eggs by the roadside?

    LOL! Something similar actually crossed my mind a couple of times, after I talked with a very adamant natural foods instructor who had attended church with us at one time.

    To be accurate, here is the article that addresses the McDonalds link to what you said. Notice how many other businesses are listed along with McDonalds. Also, the article I first received as an “urgent” notice in my email inbox about how McDonalds was pushing a “gay agenda” never included ANY links to where people could verify the news. I had to go to other sites to find out. It was very “scare-tactic-ish” of Don Wildman to shoot off such an email.

    Here’s the article, I believe it came from worldnetdaily:
    Posted: March 30, 2008
    12:20 am Eastern

    By Bob Unruh
    2008 WorldNetDaily

    Following the link from the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce’s website leads to a promotional for children’s Happy Meals at the McDonalds website

    McDonald’s restaurant’s, famed for the Golden Arches, Ronald McDonald and kids meals, has signed onto a nationwide effort to promote “gay” and “lesbian” business ventures.

    The company, which is listed on the website of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce as a “corporate partner and organization ally” for an undisclosed financial contribution, also recently placed one of its executives on the NGLCC board of directors.

    Corporate Partners
    Through the commitment of our corporate partners, the NGLCC has been able to advance the ideas and causes of the LGBT business community. The following companies have supported NGLCC since our inception.

    If you’d like to become a corporate partner, please contact us to request more information about partnership and sponsorship opportunities.


    Founding Corporate Partners

    Wells Fargo
    Motorola Travelport
    Wyndham Hotel Group
    American Airlines
    Lehman Brothers
    American Express
    Ernest & Young

    Corporate Partners and Organizational Allies

    Cisco Systems Avis Morgan Stanley
    Sodex ho
    Pepsico Coors Light
    Century 21
    Coldwell Banker
    Coldwell Banker Commercial
    Corcoran group real estate
    Sotheby’s international realty
    ERA real estate
    Kimpton hotel
    TRG resource group
    Printing Methods
    blue of California
    La Crema
    Line One Productions
    Ramada worldwide
    Human Rights Campaign Marriott
    out & Equal workplace advocates
    Millennium hotels and resorts
    Wingate Inn
    Starwood hotels and resorts
    Replacements LTD
    Johnson & Johnson


    National Platinum Media Sponsors
    the Advocate
    http:// …..


    The actual email that was a letter from Don Wildman that a friend alerted my husband and me to was very unprofessional. It read like a grocery store tabloid without any links or addresses to check the facts.

    My husband and I both know men who work for Cisco Systems at church, and nobody seems to bring that “alert” up to them that their company is named here, along with McDonalds. Also, another person on another forum asked a good question; should homosexuals be employed in any business? That is a thing we are dealing with here, too.

    My heart gets so heavy for those who are lost. I’m hoping that even a shred of compassion and healing touch God will give me to share with others who may never have an experience with someone in full-time ministry. But I don’t really understand the ‘tude that seems to happen when I get in a group of some who own/operate their own businesses in the christian homeschool arena. Seems to me they would do best to stay on good terms with the larger business community, if for any other reason, to be good neighbors. 🙂

  6. Mrs. C Says:

    Wow, thanks for the list, Kate!

    I actually don’t have a problem with homosexuals being employed by businesses. If homosexual activity is legal (which unfortunately it is), and your business is secular (like serving burgers is), no reason why not.

    That doesn’t mean that some of these businesses need to drum up “gay” business by advertising certain places or going to pride rallies, etc. I mean, nobody asked to cater our last church picnic in return for an ad on the back of our bulletin LOL! *shrug*

    I am sure my husband D has to deal with all kinds of weirdness at his job as well. It’s very easy to look down on folks who get their hands all dirty with these issues because your business happens to be “clean” for the moment.

    WOW, and if you combine ERA and Century 21 business, and you’re buying a house it pretty well knocks you out of the market. We’re all in this together, and while I wouldn’t want someone persecuted for their lifestyle, I also wouldn’t want to support it with my business if I can help it. This is too bad. I’m especially sad about Office Max, though I may still go in during August for the free laminating anyway. Good grief.

  7. Cindy K Says:

    Isn’t it sad that so many terms make us cringe because they have been used like clubs to bludgeon us. They are in God’s love letters to us, yet they have been used as means with communicate anything but love in many cases. The list is long and includes Titus, too! (Pun intended.) And things like usurp and appeal, and on and on.

    I’m surprised people haven’t pulled that name out of mothballs with which to name their “Biblical manhood” sons and as a subtle reminder to every woman just what they were really put on this earth to do. ~~~~Gag!

  8. Ellie Says:

    Oh my – I LOVE this post! We have a lot in common, especially the part about not wanting to buy/do anything with home decorating until you know it’s right, being able to tackle any project ONCE YOU GET STARTED (lol!), being disorganized, and being burnt out on homeschooling. I, too, want to be a Luke 10:38-42 woman!!

  9. choseninhim Says:

    Welcome Ellie!

    I’m glad I’m not alone, but I’ll pray for you 😉 . It’s hard when you don’t really look like all these other women who have it all put together (truly, God bless them, but I struggle). Sometimes I want to write a post entitled, “WYSIWYG” (what you see is what you get), because if my blog just showcased some perfect life I have, it would SO not be the truth. God is good, though, and I’m blessed with “all things that pertain to life and Godliness in Christ Jesus”, and trust Him for satisfaction in Him.

    I still need to pick out paint though.

  10. choseninhim Says:

    Hey Cindy, maybe after the “Relationship Homeschooler” banners get rolling, someone can start a T-shirt venture with that on the front. There can also be a T-shirt that has the phrase, “My Name is Not Titus”. Didn’t Richard G. have another idea? Was it something in reference to Stacy McDonald?

  11. Cindy K Says:

    You’ll have to write to Richard D. He does that kind of thing for a living, I think or does it on the side.

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