I recently came across this article that was written by a woman whose husband gave her some advice on what things he needs most.  The advice he gave was general for husbands, but in light of so much complicated advice out there when it comes to Christian marriage and biblical “roles”, I’m convinced that “simple” and non-complicated advice can be a good thing.  Sometimes we just need to “KISS” or, “Keep It Simple, Stupid” when it comes to encouraging each other and helping another person, especially our spouses.

A-F-S is an acronym that Lylah coined after getting input from her husband on helping to meet his needs.  He told her to tell women in her ministry that husbands need three main things:  appreciation, food and sex.  This was a very simple, easy to understand view that helps me keep marriage in perspective, even after 21 years of marriage.  Why load down the beautiful union of marriage with so many “roles” to fill or “biblical rules” to follow in order to maintain a certain creed or fit into some image others have crafted?  Can’t we just help each other in our giftings with how we’re led by the Spirit of God in us? 

Lylah is married to Michael Ledner, who wrote the song, “You Are My Hiding Place”.  The couple were in attendance in Graduate school if my memory serves me, at Multnomah School of the Bible in 1989-90 when my husband attended.  I met Mr. Ledner when he helped move our piano into our apartment the day my husband and I moved to Portland to attend Multnomah.  Our families both lived on campus and we “bumped” into one another on occasion.  It’s funny to have found them online after all these years.

Another good discussion going on is the one on the term “Ezer” over at Indelible Grace.  The discussion is dealing with a good topic to reveal just how different convictions define that term “Ezer” or “help” as used in the Bible and I’m amazed how people have differed sharply on the term just to support a particular point of view regarding gender “roles” or “duties”.   Let’s turn to the Bible and may we turn to God’s ever-present Help through His Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth.


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